Memories – Harbor Lights Ministries

Forgiven And Forgetting.

Satan does not fill us with hatred of God, but with forgetfulness of God. – Dietrich Bonhoeffer

One of the many battles that some people face is memory. I happen to have horrible short-term memory. I will often think of something I need to do or get while I’m out driving and by the time I can stop and write it down, it’s gone! I’ve had to learn to use voice memos so that I can note the task while driving and later write it down. In fact, I’ve resorted to using an app on my phone that not only states what I need to remember, but I can also set an alarm for a day and time! It has been a lifesaver!

The hardest part of memory issues for me though is remembering the Words of God. Many devout Christians will memorize Scripture. The Bible says in Psalm 119:11 “I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.” The more words from God we carry in our hearts and mind, the stronger we become standing firm against the evils of this world that try to derail us in our walk. In my previous writing and podcast (Things I Preach To Myself About…“Where’s My Sword”), I talked about the importance of reading the Bible and how the Bible is the Sword of the Spirit, the Sword of Truth. With this at our side at all times, we can defend ourselves from the attacks of the enemy.

But is our forgetfulness simply a psychological or physical matter? There certainly are many contributing factors that affect our capabilities to remember things. Everything from stress and anxiety, depression, injuries to the brain, all can affect someone’s short-term (and/or long-term) memory. But today I want to delve into another area that can be a factor against our ability to remember God’s word: Sin

One thing that can thwart our ability to memorize Scripture is sin. Within each of us is a disease. It is a disease that we have carried since birth. This sin disease will be with us until our last breath. As with any disease, it affects various parts of our body (mind and soul). And, as with any ailment, once it’s discovered, it has to be addressed and treated; often daily! When we identify that we have this sin nature and we want to be rid of it, we begin a working process to keep it from flaring up in our lives.

As sin erupts, God becomes quite distant to us. Our only desire during this moment is for self-gratification. Our natural inclination leans toward the flesh, the strongest pull at the time. Without help, we become weak and powerless to resist. James puts it this way in chapter 1, verse 14; “But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.” As Bonhoeffer says, we are not hating God, but forgetting God.

Yes, we do have a natural animosity against God and His ways. Since the fall of man in the Garden of Eden, we have been natural-born sinners! Psalm 51 says “Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me.” We enter into this world already at odds with God and His laws (10 Commandments). And until the Spirit changes our hearts, we relish sin over salvation. But when God does quicken us, we are then able to see Him in a different light; now wanting His ways in our life, not the world’s ways! We are able to believe and trust our life to Jesus Christ through his death, burial, and resurrection from the grave. We enter into newness of life! Now we place Jesus as our Lord and Savior!

That doesn’t necessarily make the disease go away though. What it does do is cause us to actually see the disease and want it gone! Thus, our trusting in God and His Word is key to the process of fighting this sin!

Which brings me back to memory. As I’ve said before, Christians will often memorize Scripture as a means of strengthening their walk and building up a defense against the devil’s lies. Being able to quote Bible verses from memory is paramount to a growing faith. But for some of us who struggle to even remember what we were going to do as we walk into another room, or forget our ideas or tasks the moment our attention is distracted; we need a different remedy.

One thing I’ve discovered lately is to meditate on Scripture. There is a difference between memorizing and meditating. Memorization is planting something into your mind for recall whenever needed. Meditation is delving deep into something so intently, that it becomes imbedded in your heart. Learning a set of words by rote memorization is essentially a mechanical or habitual repetition. But to thoroughly and intimately learn, we meditate on the Word of God.

I will meditate on your precepts and fix my eyes on your ways. Psalm 119:15

Many of the great Puritans devoted vast amounts of time delving deep into the Bible, meditating on them to fill their hearts complete with the truth of God. Dr. Joel Beeke, in his essay on “The Puritan Practice of Meditation,” lists some benefits that meditating on Scripture has to offer (compared to just memorizing):

Meditation helps us focus on the Triune God, to love and to enjoy Him in all His persons (1 John 4:8)—intellectually, spiritually, aesthetically.
Meditation helps increase knowledge of sacred truth. It “takes the veil from the face of truth” (Prov. 4:2).
Meditation is the “nurse of wisdom,” for it promotes the fear of God, which is the beginning of wisdom (Prov. 1:8).
Meditation enlarges our faith by helping us to trust the God of promises in all our spiritual troubles and the God of providence in all our outward troubles.

These are just a few that Dr. Beeke lists. But what it does point to is the importance of absorbing God’s Truths deeper into our being rather than just reciting words. For a deeper insight to the Puritan study of God’s Word, I would also recommend the book “God’s Battle Plan For The Mind: The Puritan Practice of Biblical Meditation” by David W. Saxton. The book not only shows the necessity for personal meditation on the Scriptures, but also gives motivation by showing us how the great Puritans meditated on the Word themselves!

There are so many great benefits to meditating on the Word of God instead of just memorizing them. And don’t get me wrong, memorization is a great option for many who can do it and it does work. But we all need to imbed these truths in our minds, as well as our hearts, no matter the method. But, for those of us who struggle with the duty of memorizing, we do have an option that can actually take us deeper into His word AND get those words within us to recall when needed!

In the Garden of Eden, the first challenge to Eve by the serpent (the devil, himself) was to ask “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?” Thus, seeing if she knew the words of the Lord. As we face the lusts of the flesh, the lusts of the eyes, and the pride of life that surround us every day, we need to be on guard with the Sword of the Sprit, the Word of God! We won’t always have an opportunity to sit down and look up Scripture to challenge back the temptations set before us. In most instances, we will need to draw on our understanding and knowledge of the Word of God that is deeply set within us. Words of Scripture that we have committed to our hearts and minds for just such an occasion!

Not only do we strive to know God through His word daily in our lives, but we are called to persevere onward in our sanctification, always remembering that God is working in us through His Son Jesus, by the power of the Holy Spirit! Joshua 1:8a says: “This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it.”

Amen

Love, even in loss.

It has been a very long time since I put my thoughts on this page. Long overdue actually. Part of the issue has been life. Life happened, is happening, and will happen. To stop and express thoughts and feelings during the Life Happenings is a conscience choice that must be acted upon. I, on the other hand, procrastinated until the moment passed and left me holding on to empty bag of unknowns, uncertainties, and unresolved expressions.

So, I take this moment to put aside my laziness and drop a quick note or two onto this fine media….to share, with you, how life has happened since my last posting.

Since leaving my state job, going back to the big corporate life, I have road a roller coaster of events that have altered my life. Most extreme of which was the passing of my Mom. Watching a loving and caring woman succumb to the ravages of cancer…never complaining about the pain and misery she was suffering…has left a sore that I cannot seem to heal. That spot where you feel the pain, yet don’t have a remedy at hand. At times it festers to a point of creating tears from hurt, and at times it just aches enough to remind you that it is still there, yet I can still manage through the day.

I will confess that there has been directed moments where I have tried to numb the pains with adult-fashionable beverages in excess. But, we both know that is not a remedy for any pain. If anything, it only leaves the physical body in discord and fills the mind with regret. The sore still remains. Life still happens.

Trying to take my focus off of the sore is also just a temporary fix. Even if I fill my head and heart with the anguish of the world events of murder, mayhem, and vile actions purported on one another, that is only a fleeting burn that dissipates after the news is turned off. Plus, only adds to the disdain I have for people who are filled with evil. Love is smothered and I become numb.

Life still happens. I still walk amongst it, daily having to navigate the ups and downs, turns and curves of my existence. It’s true that you cannot just put your head in the sand and pretend that you are not there. I have tried and it hasn’t resolved anything. The only resolve is facing it all head on. Walking into the storms and taking action on each segment of life as it happens.

As much as it can hurt at times, facing the enemy is more effective in the long run. Life will keep happening, but keeping a firm grasp on how much it can become a sore will most certainly give you the upper hand. I wasn’t prepared for some of life’s big hits on me and have suffered more than I should have, had I taken a more controlling roll in them when they occurred. So, as with anything….you live and learn!

Not to sound cliché and sappy, but love does conquer all. Filling your heart with love will have a greater impact on your personal resolve to survive the storms of life’s happenings. Thus, when faced with devastation, loss, pain, hurt, and emptiness….you will at least have a warmth that comforts and calms you through it all.

Be strong, my friends, and be in love! Love you, love them, love life…good and bad. But, above all…..LOVE!

A Traditional Way, or In The Way…?

“Because that’s the way it has always been done!” That’s the answer for tradition. If you do the same thing time and time again…it’s tradition. The family gatherings during the holiday, the placement of an item ceremoniously, following a well-travelled path…all traditions. There are many wonderful things to be said about tradition. It can be used as a means of preserving family memories. It demonstrates respect for the past. It also teaches and motivates the young to remember. Tradition can build a strong bond of unity!

There can be down-sides to traditions though. Often, doing something just because of tradition makes it robotic and the true meaning to its purpose is lost over time. People will go through the motions “just because” and get stuck in the rut. Traditions can keep you trapped, missing out on something that can be new and exciting. “Because that’s the way it has always been done!”

I did that once. Absolutely refused to purchase compact disks for the longest time because I felt my tradition of records and cassettes were being infringed upon. Don’t tell me I have to change my media! I’ve always listened to my music this way!

With some traditions though, I have to shake my head and wonder why. One such tradition is using Roman numerals for the year or to denote a quantitative measure of events. Prime example: the Superbowl. This 2012, Superbowl XLVI was played. Not 46, but XLVI. It is important to note that! But why use Roman numerals? Doesn’t our numbering symbols work? Does a game or event become more exciting if antiquated symbols are used?

If you put in the question “why does the Superbowl use Roman numerals” in Google search, you get about a thousand pages of every type trying to give you an answer. And you know what? None of them do. Well, maybe they do, but I’m not going to scroll through every one to see! But, the common thread seems to be tradition. Plain and simple. It’s the novelty of doing it because, well…just because. Tradition. 1966 saw the first game played, billed as Superbowl I, and has continued tradition ever since. They are not the only ones using Roman numerals though. Check out the very end of the credits on television shows. Copyright MCMVXXIII (just made up a random number). Tradition? Yep….tradition.

Let’s face it…the way of the Roman numbering symbols is a thing of the past, but to strike tradition, we continue to use it in various applications. The same can be said of many traditions. Archaic as some things may seem, we still push for some aspect of yester-yore. Is it a bad thing? No. Something like Roman numerals will not decimate the rise of technology. But if we held fast to a Roman numeral-only mentality, then hinderance of progression may occur!

Standing in traditions that disallow progress have also proven to be damaging. In many cultures or religions, some traditions have proven harmful to certain genders or races. Women have suffered throughout history under religious or political oppressions. Having a belief other than the status quo could often be cause for punishment or death to people because tradition would not move…it’s the way it has always been and it will not be challenged! These types of situations still happen in this modern-day and age! Archaic thinking creates a separation.

I’m not going to start in on specifics. That usually just leads to arguments. I’m not here for that. I just feel that it is important to keep a mind open, evaluate all aspects, and be respectful to other’s. Disclaimer: driving like a selfish idiot during rush hour is NOT considered tradition! Just saying….but I digress!

Anyway, I just find it interesting some of the various traditions that people, communities, cultures, religions, and even nations will hold near and dear to their hearts. Look around your world this week and note the various traditions that people engage in. You will find some odd, like Roman numerals. You will find some touching, like visits to a grave. You may find some that need a change. You might find a situation to create one. Sometimes you have to break tradition to create a new tradition!

No matter the tradition, it is something that is a part of the life around us. I hold out for hope in a planet steeped in traditions that a sprinkling of common sense exists within! Change can be good for some traditions. I know…I ended up buying a CD player and learned to really enjoy that technology!

Now, what is this MP3 stuff I’m hearing about….?

An Open Letter To Mr. Claus

Dear Santa,

It’s been over 30 years since my last confession and I have to confess that things have really gone askew! I’m not even sure my toilet swirls in the correct direction when flushed. The world has gone mad and I was hoping that you could get things fixed. I know you’re a busy guy this time of year, with all the labelling and legal hurdles you have to clear before you can bring goodies on your sleigh, but, I just need to know if the old Santa is still there…the one that can put fear in children that they might be on the naughty list. The Santa who can actually have children sit on his lap without the threat of lawsuit. Where have you been all these years? I mean, you are still Santa, right? The jolly ol’ elf that has an independent operation in the north pole? You haven’t become the “Elf formerly known as…”, or “And now, here’s Santa, sponsored by…”? You didn’t get caught up in any Ponzi schemes, did you? I don’t know why I worry about these things. Just do.

Are you feeling severely limited these days with all the regulations, restrictions, taxations, and legal ramifications? A person of your position is probably scrutinized 24/7. Labor watchdogs, potential whistle-blowers, children services and such. No wonder you don’t have the power you once did! It’s a serious shame! Innocence is lost, but not solely to perversions. It seems that it’s lost to the governmental controls, corporate greed, and the individual narcissism of people today. With all that going on, sorry to say, you never really did have a chance to survive. The world today is heading down the path of anti-Clausism. No one, save but a few, have the desire to believe in miracles. The days of dreaming have been replaced by the days of medication. Your role is being replaced by paranoia. How sad is that!

I’ve done my own tally and the best I can discern is that your “nice” list has to be really, really short. I firmly believe that all the idiots that refuse to go beyond 40 MPH down the freeway on-ramps until after they have a mile or two under their belts should not be on that list. I think you would have to agree that most of our world-wide government leaders have probably slipped from one list to the other. There is so many situations of violence, mayhem, and, just plain disorder throughout the world that one would have to imagine your trip time would be half from what it once was. Too bad you can’t take some of these “naughty listers” out behind the reindeer barn and give them all a yule log upside their heads!

Enough of that, though. I am worried for you. It is certainly hard to keep your mental and physical health intact these days with all that is going on. I remember that song with the kid singing “All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth”. I still sing that nowdays because I can’t afford the dental work. Have you seen the out-of-pocket prices? Wow! So, I sing….and sing….and wish upon a star, (or HMO, or bank loan). Plus, it is really hard to keep one’s sanity together during these times. I’ve found that the reindeer games really take a toll on folks these days, and all you end up with is the droppings! You must know that one first hand! How do you cope?

Well, I suppose I should get on with my self-indulging list of ‘what I want’ for Christmas. I am not going to ask for world peace, family love, food and shelter for the poor in the United States, bringing home the troops from overseas, justice for Caylee Anthony, our political parties to pull their heads out, jobs for the unemployed, corporate greed to subside, the end to selfishness, medical and dental care for everyone in the U.S., religions to calm down, crime to decrease, and several million other things. I am not going to ask for any of that because I believe that you have already heard those requests from the folks on your “nice” list.

What I am going to ask for is you. The Santa Claus. The one I knew as a kid. The one that captured my excitement of Christmas and kept me dreaming of magic. The Kris Kringle that created dreams inside each and every one of us. The Jolly Ol’ Elf of yesteryear is what I ask. I want to have that happy, carefree feeling within my heart, if but just for a moment. To experience the power you once radiated throughout the world that said ‘it’s ok to believe!’ If all the adults felt that, imagine what could really happen! Common Sense says that the results would be wonderful! The world needs you now, more than ever!

Sincerly,

The Cannon

Dirty Rotten Chaos!

Into each life, a little chaos must fall….and hard! All around you at this very moment is change and disorder. You might feel that there is balance and harmony going on in your life, but let me be the first to burst your bubble…it’s not! You have your good days, you have your bad days, and in between those days is chaos at work. That creature of disruption moving about, tipping the carts, changing the lights, casting its confusions. Chaos. What is this beast and why does it seem to be getting bigger, stronger, faster in the world around us and, for many, within us? Let’s define:

Chaos:

Complete disorder and confusion.
Behavior so unpredictable as to appear random, owing to great sensitivity to small changes in conditions.

I love those definitions! They sum up the animal at work. I often picture a mythical faery-like being with an evil grin, fluttering about, doing its will on unsuspecting people and things. Many religions have given chaos a persona of some demonic entity that works in the spiritual realms to ruin their prey. Loki was the Norse god of mischief constantly working to thwart mankind, as well as the gods themselves. Lucifer of the bible, the great deceiver, who started the entire downfall of mankind by creating confusion on the first humans that lived in bliss. Many different cultures label some single source for all the problems of the world. What it boils down to is the events of chaos. Altering changes that disrupt our plans, processes, procedures, policies, and presence! From the simple distraction to the fall of empires, chaos has, and always will, be the thorn in our sides!

What can we do about this? Is there any way to fool-proof our dealings in life so as not to be ruined by chaos? I think not. Back in 1785, Robert Burns characterized this chaos in his great poem, “To a Mouse, on Turning Her Up in Her Nest with the Plough”, by writing “But little Mouse, you are not alone, in proving foresight may be vain. The best laid schemes of mice and men go often askew, and leave us nothing but grief and pain, for promised joy!”

So, the best laid plans…askew! Whether by divine intervention or just natural chaos, we can plan until the cows come home, but somehow, someway, chaos will often rear its ugly head! Does it happen all the time? Of course not! It finds pleasure in allowing us some of the promised joy, lulling us into a false sense of security…then, BANG! Knocks us down some notches! We get up, dust ourselves off, curse the very fact chaos exists, and try again. Oh, our humanity of persistence!

That is the one thing about chaos…though ever changing, it is the only constant that we share. At points throughout our lives, we have felt the hand of chaos on our schemes, even when they have been well planned. So, if this is a constant during our walk through the time given, then why is there such an impact of frustration, anger, and even defeat? We should know by now that at some point in our design on how we think life should go, that chaos will inevitably intervene and have its way with us. I would say this is the predictability of the unpredictable! In a future writing I will address one reason that it impacts us so harshly and why we react the way we do. (It’s called narcissism. A sometimes over inflated view of self-importance. Another time, though.)

So, in the present, we see this swarm fluttering all around our everyday, buzzing with the possible of changing our directions. It happens, and for some folks it happens more often than others. There is no pre-disposition to the ailment of chaos. It isn’t a contagion that we get by standing too close to someone afflicted (though people may argue that the fallout of one’s chaotic attack can be adverse enough to create a sense of chaos in their own life)! No matter what it is construed as, chaos exists, it affects, and it strikes anyone, anywhere, at any time!

The strength that chaos can have is given only by the reactions we have to it. The turkey slides off the serving tray onto the ground right before it’s time to eat. Chaos ensues! We can either crumble to the ground in utter defeat, allowing the tears of shattered dreams to wash all our intentions away, or, we can realize that our plan to serve may be altered, but the fact that our family and friends are there to share with us is so much bigger. Chaos might trip, but it can never replace. You may have lost something or someone, but chaos can never remove the memories and moments that mean so much more. We are supposed to give thanks during thanksgiving, no matter what chaos has done in the past or even the present. It’s when we lose sight of the precious, the true reality of what we have, that’s when chaos has truly won.

Don’t let the knowledge of impending chaos be the ruin in your heart. Our time is measured, and there are so many more important things to be thankful for.

Let Freedom Ring

This writing comes to you with a heavy heart. A deep sadness that runs the course of my veins and has me filled with waning hope in some people. Today is a holiday, a day marked on the calendar since 1919 to be held in reverence, reflection, and salute. I share with you Veteran’s Day.

This day each year on November 11th is where we remember. Remember the men and women who served this great country with bravery and honor, defending against the storms of evil that desire to creep into our borders and usurp our great way of life. Remember the men and women of the armed services!

As you know, I love history. We learn from history so that we can have common sense! So, why today? How did this day start? My message today is not so much about where this holiday came from, but it helps to know where it all began. As the end of World War 1 neared, various peace accords were being brokered between the countries involved in that large-scale war with Germany and her allies. Though differing truce dates ran from September of 1918 all the way through to the Treaty of Versailles on June 28th of 1919, we would officially note the 11th hour of November 11th, 1918 as our countries armistice day. It officially became a national holiday the following year and was to be commemorated each year on that date.

In 1954, President Eisenhower wanted to assure that the dedicated veterans of World War II, those who came home and those who never did, were remembered as well and officially changed Armistice Day to Veteran’s Day, a day to remember all military personnel who gave the greatest sacrifice for our country.

Fast forward to today. The date has never changed, the holiday is still marked as Veteran’s Day. What has changed is the people. The people who mark this day as a ‘day off’ from work, or a shopping sale date, or a day that passes like any other day in the calendar. Quite honestly, this particular year is only getting a bigger notation because the date and time will be a rare, once every hundred years, palindromic occurence. So, novelty wins out on patriotism. It’s sad when so many stupid things win out over patriotism in this country.

The (thankfully) former Governor of Minnesota, Jessie Ventura recently went on a tirade in front of the news media declaring that, even though he is a former Navy Seal, he is giving up his love of this country that he served. He has bellowed that he will not stand in due respect during the National Anthem. He will not salute our flag. He is even adamant about locking-in his citizenship with Mexico (since he lives there now, half of the year…). All this whining and fussing because he was violated. This self-proclaimed rough and ready ex-Seal was violated by a TSA agent who patted him down during a trip to the airport. Really? Sadly, yes…that’s his big reason for hating America now.

I know that there are many opinions regarding that TSA process, and quite honestly, I am not going to go there right now. I have personal issues with people getting onto airplanes and either blowing them up or flying them into buildings, so I will just shut my mouth regarding that matter. What I will say is simply this: if you love this country, then show it! If you don’t love this country and would rather see it over-run by crazed lunatics who blow up their own people, kill their own children, violate and treat people as animals, restrict freedom to choose, and force their beliefs on to you….well then, get the hell out!

I don’t know about you, but my heart is heavy with sadness that the people of this country have forgotten. They’ve forgotten how we got here, why we got here, and how we stay here! Is it so tough to ask for even one day out of 365 each year to stop and really count your blessings? I’m not talking blessings as in turkey and stuffing, I’m talking about blessed that we have freedom to choose, that our country (though mismanaged at times) is still the greatest country in the world to live in and raise a family! We can’t even get folks to really put aside the novelties that seem to get attached to a day of remembrance like today and reflect on who we are to this great land.

I’ll just close with this: Whether you served in the military, whether you supported someone in the military, or whether you just have great respect for the protection of our way of life that our armed forces have given, and continue to give, to each of us….remember to stand for the flag, salute our troops, and always, ALWAYS remember how we got this freedom in America today. A lot of sacrifices were made so that we can be free. And if you and Jesse don’t like it, me and some of my true patriot friends would be more than happy to help you out the door. You want to live here because of the freedom, then thank a Veteran.

This message is brought to you today by a Veteran, because of Veterans. God Bless these United States and all who have served and still serve!

A Dad’s Letter To His Children

There is so much that I could and should say. The “how-to” train of thought doesn’t necessarily run in one direction when it comes to being a Dad. I have stood on the outside and I have stood on the inside, and I have found that no matter where you stand, the position of being a Dad is fill with millions of mixed messages. Do this, do that, say this, don’t say that, be firm, be gentle, hold tight, let go, be strong…..cry. But, now that your young years have flown by, I look back…with my own mixed views…to the times I did good and the times that I let you all down.

It seems that no matter how a person views the role of being a Dad, there will always be personal self-reflection that points out the times when things could have been done differently. I can’t say whether or not I have more than other Dads. I think that I do, but I guess it really comes down to perspective. From the time that you were born, the thoughts of “what do I do” seemed to be a daily occurrence. Sadly, I never got a definitive answer. Mixed messages came from everywhere. It was from a barrage of ideas, thoughts, and world-views that I would sort through and try to mix in my own gut feeling to come up with a “proper” fatherly direction. Sadly, I have to admit, consistency was never there for each of you and probably added to the chaos in your lives.

You each had strong personalities that brought color and variety to life. Trying to cater to the ever-changing tides of interest was, to say the least, a challenge! We tried the sports, we tried the music. We tried for academics and we tried for talents. So many areas to expose you to, was there some that were missed? I believe there was. But Dad’s are supposed to know. To have the answers ready when the questions come. To be able to guide and direct you to the correct paths that each of you should follow in your journey to being adults. I was never really sure myself…you each have so many gifts!

Dad’s are also supposed to be able to adapt to any situation. Be strong during times of fear and uncertainty. Be bold in knowing what is and what isn’t when it comes to life’s challenges. Be a foundation that is always unshaken during life’s storms. Be the encouragement to all of your ambitions in life. The 20/20 hindsight is clear in understanding that you didn’t always get that Dad. The times when I should have been were probably the times when I was slow in sorting through the “what is a Dad supposed to do” messages. Believe me when I tell you that my heart was always the Dad you needed, but the mind was slow in giving you that person right away. Missed moments.

Now that you are all above the High School line of measurement, life for each of you will hit on all sides. The ups and downs will come and you may be in a position where you need to rely on lessons from your youth. I hope that those are the lessons that were filled with consistency and solid truths. You see, in the Dad manual (that doesn’t exist), there are too many variables that make knowing absolutes impossible. And since this Dad was filled with so many differing “answers”, I never did get a chance to figure out which way was the right way. If only I had more time, more resources, or…better yet…more involvement.

There is one constant from all the mixed messages out there on how to be a Dad. It is simply to be there. Be involved. Be a presence in your children’s lives. That “how-to” was lost in all the chaos of my mind. Years later, it had finally come through the fog, but regrettably in the closing hours of your childhood. The phrase “missed the boat” rings louder with each passing day.

I can’t pretend to know what each of think when you look back on your years growing up, but on those moments when you wonder to yourself, ‘where was Dad”, please know that I was there, trying to get the answers you needed…it just took longer than I had hoped for. My wish is for your understanding.

With love,

Dad

Time Stand Still

Yesterday was a good day. A short day-trip to a scenic and nostalgic little town was a refreshing and memory created. Any time you have an opportunity to enjoy a of nature and eclectic people, you will often walk away with a new outlook on your own personal life. The part that nature plays in self-reflection is, and has always been, quite understandable. Historically proven, humans communing with nature will give a sense of beauty, peace, and an inward calm. Standing next to a river with the trees rustling under the direction of the wind. Sunlight glittering through the fall foliage, dancing off the moving waters. The gentle sounds of birds calling to one another. The autumn colors filling the visual senses with awe and wonderment. Tranquility settles in and the callousness of the week begins to fade into a warming of rejuvenation.

Enter people. This little town that I visited is not only a historic town nestled next to the river, but has become a mecca of antique shops, art studios, themed bars and restaurants, and unique shops. Add to this the problem of ‘one way in, one way out’ through town, and you have the makings of absolute calamity. Cars and motorcycles lined up as far as the eyes can see to the north and to the south. Impatient drivers darting through freshly turned red lights in hopes of further advancing their position. Pedestrians milling on sidewalks, blocking everything and everyone. Now, let’s add to this congestion of people and vehicles with a festival! Sure, it’s time for a celebration of the fall harvest, so let’s figure out a way to bring more people into an already cramped area!

I will admit, that I have always been a fan of people watching. I attend the Minnesota State Fair every year for two things: Pronto Pups and people! Let’s face it, the displays are the same, the food is the same, the rides are the same, and the animals all seem the same to me. (Disclaimer: Yes, I know that they are different! Settle down)! I go to that fair for my favorite food on a stick and to see the masses that gather. You can learn a great deal about society and who we are by watching large groups of people who gather together at events such as this. You have representatives from every race, creed, and status. They all come with one mind, to have fun!

Now, on my trip there was a smaller, but just as significant gathering of people from all walks of life. But on this particular day I wasn’t enlightened about some of life’s curiosities by the people around me. It was from a visit to an antique store at the edge of town. This particular store was different from many of the other stores simply because it was housed within an old building that had stood on that spot since the early settlers came in. The multi-level building still contained the wood that framed the structure, formed the floors, and some of the stonework that created walls separating rooms. An old building containing antiquities. Fitting!

I have been in many antique stores before this visit, but on this day was when observation gave way to realization. Wandering through the many aisles and nooks, glancing at the various knickknacks, furniture, clothing, oddities, and memorabilia, things started to scream at me in volumes. “I remember that.” “I had one of those.” “It seems like yesterday that I was using that very same thing.”

Really? The very objects that have been relegated to an antique store are the very things that I used, played with, and owned! Is this some cosmic joke? Is there some message being sent to me from the universe? Are you trying to tell me something? Now, hold on one minute here! I’m NOT that old! Someone get me a dictionary and the Universal Antiquities Law book…..I have some research to do!

First off, I had better make sure I understand the definition of the word:

1. of or belonging to the past; not modern; outdated

2. dating from a period long ago: antique furniture.

3. in the tradition, fashion, or style of an earlier period; old-fashioned; antiquated.

Well, that seems pretty generic to me. After all, you buy a cell phone now days and within a few months it is ‘outdated’. But, you won’t find your ‘old’ smart phone sitting on a shelf in the antique store. I’ll check with my highly classified, you-will-never-find-it, enigma book: Universal Antiquities Law. According to section 3, paragraph 2.5, sub-paragraph 15, it clearly states that ‘items cannot be displayed as antiques or historical pieces, until such a time as this author has determined, so as not to make said author feel aged or become worrisome with self-reflection…”, etc, etc, etc…. Seems pretty clear to me that this was not consulted prior to putting out some of the items. I could go on about the very specific details listed in the Book, but I won’t bore you with all the legalisms. Let’s just say that there has been a coordinated violation of my self-directed rights as a citizen!

Be this as it may, I know that there are many who are “more experienced” in years that myself. I find myself in a mix of older and younger folks around me everyday. It’s just when you get to that point in your life when realizations begin to settle in. When you can sit in a bar and see people ordering a drink that look like they are barely 15, yet are legal to drink. When newscasters come on the television and you wonder if they just left high school. You find yourself bringing up a reference to a television show from years past and the people around you look puzzled because they weren’t born yet. I’m sure that many of you have experienced these moments, and many others. That is when you chuckle with them, but walk away thinking to yourself: where has the time gone?

If you want to take a trip down memory lane, you might find that it isn’t too far from you. It might be something as simple as a visit to your local antique store. But, before you do, prepare yourself for some reality. Some may find the reality is harsh and startling, some might find it to be a pleasant experience. Whatever your reality is when taking that trip into the past, just remember that your past has brought you to this present. Times may have changed, but we were the forgers of that change. We took the rotary telephone and turned it into the cellular. We took the phonograph and turned it into the MP3. And, we fortunately discarded the leisure suits!

Time moves forward and events and items slip into the past. Reflect, remember, and smile! Someday soon, that smart phone in your pocket is going to stir memories in your grandchildren when they visit the antique store!

Where have all the funnys gone…..

It is said that laughter is the best medicine. I can’t recall a time when I have been sitting in a funk or just plain depressed and could still manage a good laugh after watching or listening to some classic comedy. I’m not talking about the latest brand of comedic actors and shows on television (though there are a few good ones on). I’m talking about the shows that many youth of today would turn off as being “old” or “out of date”. Today is marking the 100th birthday of a great comedienne, Lucille Ball. Though she passed at a young 77, her work and talents are still with us today. She revolutionized so much of what we see on television that many of those new comedies still use her innovations, such as filming before a live studio audience!

Decades later, you still laugh. You still whip the tears from your eyes watching the episode with Lucy at the candy factory conveyor belt. Your stomach still aches after the half-hour hoot!

I was fortunate to be able to introduce my children when they were young to some great classic comedy. When all the rage was Power Rangers and super-cheesy sitcoms, I broke through the color barriers and sold them on some black and white funnies. Sure, at first there was some resistance. “This is stupid, it’s not even in color”. “This is so old, it can’t be funny”. “Looks BORING!” (insert eyes rolling here). Enter I Love Lucy. Enter Abbott and Costello. Enter Laurel and Hardy.

SOLD! To the children in the front row!

Proud moments. I generally justified those moments as ‘cultural education’ for the kids’ benefit, but will confess that I enjoyed every minute of every episode or movie just as much. There is something about the nostalgia that seems to take us away for a brief moment to a simpler time. There wasn’t any super computers with super smartphones that were a part of the punch-line. Modern conveniences were plots to science fiction. People had their differences, but also had respect.

We are in a very complex, demanding time of life. We are constantly bombarded with demands and pressures. Issues such as depression and anxiety are common-place. Not that there wasn’t these problems back in the days of simpler times, but it was nowhere near the magnitude that it is today. It seems that as technology increases to make our lives easier, it has also created greater stressors.

Now, social media has taken over and what it really has created is a world of drones. Where the social media has taken us all is online and on our smartphones and pulled us away from the ‘real world’. No longer interacting with each other face to face, everything has been dwindled onto our phones and computers….virtual versus real.

I started this article with the line that laughter is the best medicine. It’s true. As humanity evolves itself into a state of robots taking commands from the social networks, I can’t help but think of the evil creatures of the t.v. show Star Trek: the Next Generation. The race is called the Borg. Essentially are assimilated beings from all over the universe, many looking remarkably human. The ‘assimilation’ is where the human emotions and independent thought are stripped away and every member is now a part of the ‘collective’. Everyone does what everyone else does. No independence, just plugged into the big computer and follow the commands.

This is where we are heading. The modern technology is plugging us into it and stripping away our humanity. With that, comes the emotional dysfunction, the mental breakdowns, and the withdraw from real society and family. Maybe a passionate plea from the world of common sense is in order: Please unplug for a while, take the time away from the stressors, and laugh! If your head is spinning and filled with chaos….laugh! If you are flooded with sadness and despair, take some time to laugh! If you are feeling alone and cold, laugh! If you unplug from the collective, interact with real humanity, watch a little I Love Lucy….you might get your senses back!

Common sense!