I have been writing and speaking over the last several years about a myriad of topics, most of which revolves around faith and the problems I have encountered in my own journey. I will confess that I am far from knowledgable, or even wise, when it comes to faith in God above and the actual faith-walk that the so many people seemingly claim themselves to be on because they attend a Christian church and acknowledge the Holy Bible as the core source of their profession and belief. In fact, if you’ve been following my writings and podcasts, you will see that my own personal progression in learning and studying what this religion is all about has shifted from one belief system into another and subsequently, another. My journey has taken me from new age paganism, through old-school Lutheranism, into the world of reformed theology, and into the world of Messianic Judaism. Where to next? The question really is this: where do I actually stand in my beliefs?
Well, to begin with, I have tried to point out in the past that there are quite a variety of structures and methodologies within the framework of belief in the canonical book called the Holy Bible. Many call these divisions in belief practices “denominations.” And within each of those denominational groups lie a multitude of smaller groups that can even differentiate themselves one from another. For example, within the denomination of Baptist there are many splinter groups that, though they all call themselves “Baptists,” do tend to be quite different from each other. And each group seems very confident that their ideologies of how faith and worship and understanding of the God of the Bible are the only correct way. So many of their practices may differentiate (sometimes) quite drastically from the other splinter groups under that same title group. Now, you add to this the hundreds of other denominations that all profess belief in the Holy Bible and you can see how this extreme diversity can sometimes be overwhelming and confusing and cause people to just walk away from religion all together! I have been at that brink numerous times and can say with certainty that I don’t have the answer to the age old question: “Which one is the right one?”
I will state this though regarding my basics in belief: There is a supreme being, God, if you will, who is the creator and ruler of the universe. I say that with conviction and confidence because I cannot explain away how all things, including human beings, just came into a perfectly operating existence without the design and perfection of a being of greater power and intelligence. Primordial ooze or cosmic explosions just don’t put all things into a perfect balance of operation. I also contend that our planet could be no closer or further away from the sun without causing complete damage to the entire ecosystem, and that all the other stars and planets of the universe are definitely in a fixed and perfect placement. There is no easy explaining how all the human parts work in perfect symbiosis with each other part in order for our existence to sustain and continue. This life that we see and experience is no by-product of an accident or evolution. No. The universe is working and existing because of that supreme God. So…I do give full credit to the Bible in answering the most basic of human questions regarding the beginning of all things and how they came to be. “In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.”
With that being said though, the struggle I have most is with all of the other details. I’ve read that book several ways and at several times and have, over time, come to alter some of my understandings of various topics of study. Either because I’ve fallen under the spell of someone’s slanted interpretations and teachings and conclusions regarding what the book is telling us, or, I had read things with too much naivety and ignorance in mind and heart. Essentially I have had to wipe my slate clean from those influences…whether good or bad. But at the core, I have always stood on the belief that this book, comprising of 66 individual writings from approximately 40 authors over the course of approximately 1500 years, is divinely inspired by God above. And though I may have faltered at times to see clearly what He is trying to say in parts, I am also certain that many areas are very clear and concise (such as don’t murder or worship other “gods”). But as to the exact manner of how our deity worship and daily walk is supposed to be practiced…I don’t have the exact definitive answers. Since most of the believers in the Bible all agree in unison that the God of the book is the supreme being and creator of all things, how is it that there is so much contention and disagreement about many of the details? Or worse yet (for me anyway) is how can so many learned and intelligent people who have solely devoted their entire lives to the study of this one book all seem to walk away with such a wide range of understandings and interpretations and conclusions?
The only solace I can find in my struggles reading this Bible is that if the countless “experts” are having a difficult time grasping and concluding exactly what the authors of these writings are trying to convey to the people of earth, through the supposed very words they believe that God the creator of the universe gave them to share, well, then I really cannot beat myself up too much! Again, this is where so many people like myself struggle and where so many get to a point and just give up. They walk through life knowing that God exists, that His word is the Bible, and that He is calling us to live a good moral life. Yet, there are also many details given from above that call us to worship this God of the Bible and, yet, nothing but chaos and divisions abound.
No religion on the planet has created more controversy, division, outrage, chaos, and even violence, than has belief in the Biblical deity above. And, to an extension, this includes Islamic and Jewish believers, since this is the same deity they also claim. It seems that as much as God above has extended His words to the denizens of this planet in one form or another, so has the disputes and conflicts as to what He is saying, and to whom, been. God spoke, people listened, then argued with each other as to what He said. This has gone on for countless centuries and is still very active today! I will not side with one faction or another simply because I am standing on the outside, looking in, trying to get back to the original source without the sway or influences of man. It seems to me that, like so many other good things, humans have this great tendency to muddy the truth and stir in dissensions. I’m trying very hard to avoid that. I’m trying hard to just read what we have been given and base my conclusions on…the very words alone!
Thus…why I seem to be in a state of evolution (if I can use that word in a Biblical conversation). This is why my “walk” has seemingly shifted from one path to another. This is why I appear to have started at one point, turned around in the journey at times and have gone back to the very beginning to start again. This is why I seem antagonistic toward “denominations” in my writings and podcasts. I just want to be as right as possible without being seen as someone who is just blending in with everyone else. Just because “everyone else is doing it,” doesn’t meant that it is right! The more I look at His words, the more I see that man has injected too much of himself into defining His words and has even overtaken the initial words given by this supreme being to the point that what I read in that Bible and what I see so many people doing…all seem to be in great contradiction to one another.
Everyone has an opinion, an interpretation, of what they think is the correct way of walking with the God of the Bible. Even within so-called like-minded groups (or denominations), there seems to always be disagreements and discord between the believers. But, I think we also know that will always be, no matter how black and white the writings are on any subject matter. I, for one, am not in a mood or place that I want to be in concert or conflict with the others as to how they walk this faith. I am going to just keep on asking Him to show me what He is trying to say…in hopes that He gives me enough to walk in faith His way.
Amen
Harbor Lights Ministries 